His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Randomize
