I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Well I just put wine in my tea
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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