Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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