your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
