The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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