do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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