i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
i think i scared a bird with my dick
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
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