I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
You pole danced in your parka.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
