someone get that fucking seahorse.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Randomize