This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
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