listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Randomize
