We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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