if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
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