You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
