my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
