Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
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