I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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