Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
