he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We don't watch enough power rangers
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
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