I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
