omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Randomize