i was rollin on her like bob the builder
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
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