the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
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