the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Randomize
