We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Randomize
