after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I just blew my weed a kiss
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize