Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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