two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Randomize
