I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Randomize
