You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
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