Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
