I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
The ass gains better be worth it
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
