I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Randomize
