I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
