her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Randomize