We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
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