I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
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