Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
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