His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
We talked him into tasing himself.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
