I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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