i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
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