I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
Randomize