This is not my ceiling
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
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