Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Randomize
