i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Randomize
