he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Holy shit dude........stairs
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
