i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I FOUND THE LEGS
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
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