i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I just had sex on a roof
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Randomize
