Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
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