why im i the only drunk person in the library?
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Let the clothes fall where they may.
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