batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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