She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
