I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
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