I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
