I can't breathe out the right side of my face
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
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