just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
Four minutes until I can fart!
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize