ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
40s are totally the cure
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
