no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
