i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize
