i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
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