Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Randomize
