There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
